The red silhouette on the beach.

A dream? An illusion? Or maybe just insanity.

I couldn’t remember if it was a dream, or an illusion, or if I was just losing my marbles.

It was all so surreal. 

But this is what I do remember:

I remember, vividly, that I was on a beach. 

A beach, serene yet lively. Colours everywhere, sea green, sandy brown, sky blue. Sounds too, the waves crashing, the water lapping, the breeze brushing through my hair. The salty air was dense and humid, the sun was slowly dipping into the horizon. 

In the distance, a few hundred or so metres away, I saw a red silhouette. There was a person standing on the shore, staring far out into the sea. 

I couldn’t make out the person’s gender from afar. And I didn’t know whether it would be proper to approach this person or not. Gradually though, I found my legs carrying themselves in the direction of the red silhouette, almost as if I was being pulled by a magnetic force. 

Maybe I underestimated my curiosity and overestimated my survival instincts. That happens.  

As I finally stood beside the person, I saw that they were faceless, but they seemed to be gazing into the endlessness of the ocean, as if looking into a void, in a trance-like state. 

I was less shocked and more confused. What the fuck is happening? Am I tripping..?

I needed to probe more. Although, unhurriedly. I don’t wanna freak them out.

So I just stood next to this faceless red silhouette, in silence, and we watched as a radiant sun dipped further and further into the bottomless sea. 

Maybe I should say something…

“Uh, hey, are you okay?”.

The person was completely unresponsive, physically and verbally. So I decided to just continue standing next to them, quietly. 

But eventually, I grew a little impatient, and I don’t remember what I said next to break the ice, it’s unclear to me now. Anyways, it doesn’t matter, because there was still no response from that person.

Maybe they’re just here to stare at the sunset and don’t wanna talk, or maybe, maybe they’re hurting…? 

Sudden, random thought. 

I don’t know why I knew, or felt, that. Maybe I just picked up on it? Maybe it was the vibe they were giving off? Again, I don’t remember. 

What I do remember though, is that I wanted to comfort this faceless red silhouette in some way. 

Should I hold their hand? That always kinda helps, right? 

So I held their hand. The hand felt cold, soulless. And I noticed, they weren’t holding mine back, I couldn’t feel that pressure or that squeeze. Regardless, I kept holding their hand and standing by their side. 

I started feeling a growing sense of protection for this person. They seemed to be in an internal war of sorts. Again, I don’t know why I knew, or felt, this. Maybe it was just situational awareness? Or intuition? Anyway, I had an urge to comfort them even more.

So I turned to the faceless red silhouette and said, “I’ll love you forever and stay by your side till the end of time. Everything’s going to be okay”.  

Bold. 

The person started crying. Crying in streams. Crying like they’ve never cried before. Crying like they’ve never been allowed to cry before. 

I gently put my hand under their chin and lifted it up with my fingers, and what I saw was…

What I saw was… me. They were me. She was me. Or at least, she looked exactly like me. Again, I was more confused than shocked. But this time, another emotion trumpeted my confusion, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. 

She, the red silhouette who was me, was still crying. My hand was dripping with her tears. 

But, the look on her face was not one of sadness. No, she was grateful. 

I held her hand tight, I wanted to pour all the warmth that I could possibly summon, from my heart through my hand to hers, like sending a beam of sun rays. I felt her hand getting warm, and the cold, stiff fingers slightly curling to hold mine. 

I sensed a fluttering happiness at that touch. 

She was still crying a river, her eyes wide, an indiscernible expression on her face, she was now holding my hand very tight. 

“Would you like to sit down on the soft sand with me?”, I whispered. 

She shook her head no. 

“That’s fine”.

I continued to stand with her. She was still crying. I carefully wiped her tears with my thumb, and proceeded to give her the biggest, sweetest hug in the world. 

I felt my chest tightening (and I was also choking up on a tear that was rolling down my eyes, but I held it in).  

Sadness, it felt sad… just the fact that affection can be such a foreign feeling to somebody (and to quote Enrique, “That somebody’s me”). 

I pulled away, holding her shoulders and looked into her eyes, there was a connection in our tears, it was as if they were from the same bottle that had been tightly shut for so long. I could feel every morsel of every painful experience, big and small, that each of her tears represented. 

The crying had not stopped, there was a lot to shed, a lot to let go off. 

But I could tell, I could tell that she was thankful, and that her tears were more of joy than of sadness now. 

She was happy. She was happy that she had given in, for once. 

That’s all I remember, about the red silhouette on the beach. 

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P.S. Like what you read? 

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P.P.S I have a blog now. And it’s super wacky and kawaii, if I may say so myself. 

Check it out here, and lemme know what you think? (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡