Spiked apple juice and an ashy bonfire.

The intoxication of freedom.

She shoved the bags and clothes away and plopped down right in front of my face.

I was quietly reading a book in a corner while resting on my sleeping bag, and trying to be as invisible as possible.

“You’re joining in, whether you like it or not”.

“Fuck no”.

“Awesome :)”.

_

On the last night at camp, it was a ritual to have a “bonfire night”.

Ya know what I mean?

Where everyone sits around the fire, swaps stories, sings songs, snacks like there’s no tomorrow, drinks apple juice (because we were all like 12-year olds), and dances with HYPER energy.

I have always been shy as hell, afraid to open-up and let loose amongst people, especially those of my age. Not that I don’t like it, I actually do. But I’m awkward about it.

So, you see, this “bonfire night” thing made alarm bells go off in my head.

My plan was to hide in a corner, pretend like I don’t exist and wait for the party to die down.

But my best friend had a plan of her own – which, in a nutshell, was basically to foil mine.

And I’m glad she did.

That one bonfire night would become one of my most cherished memories ever.

I do not really remember why, but it was the first time I let myself go with the flow. Unknowingly. I locked all my inhibitions in a subconscious safe and tossed the keys away. Just like that, I did.

Maybe it was because of the comforting presence of my best friend, maybe the apple juice was spiked, maybe I got high from inhaling the ashes flying out of the bonfire, who knows. I don’t remember.

But that was the first time I danced like no one was watching.

It was the first time I felt the intoxication of being truly free in all senses.

And I still remember that feeling very fondly.

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