Most things are about striking the balance between the two opposite sides of that same coin.
My coin, in most cases, always falls flat on either one of the sides though. It rarely balances. And even if there is a balance, it’s shaky — the coin is justtt waiting to be tipped over by the smallest of triggers.
All or nothing.
Right or wrong.
Real or fake.
Good or bad.
Truth or lies.
But, realistically speaking, not many things can entirely fit into only one of these boxes. And the harder you try to fit them in, the stronger is the force with which they jump right out and smack you straight across the face.
So, I have a theory (if we can call it that).
Let me explain:
Balance is a utopian concept, yeah?
It’s like the “Donkey and Dangling Carrot” analogy (that’s not the actual name, it’s just how I remember it) which is used in Jurisprudence to teach the concept of Justice.
Justice = Dangling Carrot
Society = Donkey
Each step that the donkey takes towards the dangling carrot in order to reach it leads towards progress, but the catch is that the carrot keeps moving further away with every step and never really comes into the possession of the donkey.
Same is with balance, wherein:
Balance = Dangling Carrot
Us = Donkey
Most of life is basically striving to achieve balance in different spheres of your life, but never really achieving it.
Now that may seem to have a hopeless ring to it, but it is actually what makes this whole thing fun. Because this means that you can choose what balance looks like for you.
If there’s no universal definition or idea then I can make up my own, right?
Well, this is mine: “Balance is the average of imbalances”.
For example:
You can have a plan, but not be bound to it by a leash.
You can choose to track, record and measure, but not be obsessed with numbers more than actually living your life.
You can choose to be analytical and be practical, but also allow yourself to feel.
You can be passionate, but also be aware that passion alone is not gonna work because you need the systems and processes in place too.
You can stick with one tool that works for you instead of going after every one, but also be open to explore something that’s better for your own convenience.
You can believe that only fiction is real writing, but still not feel like you’re betraying your beliefs when you pick a non-fic once in a while.
You can define your own special style, but still want to experiment and play with quirky and cute trends.
You can learn from others and not make the same mistakes, while also gathering unique personal experiences.
You can set your boundaries, but still be a helpful person.
You can have your non-negotiables, but also recognise that imposing expectations could be damaging and that the other person is also human.
You can lift heavy five days a week till you can’t even remove your t-shirt, and take leisurely strolls through your noisy neighbourhood on the rest.
You can love your solitude, and still want people around you.
You can enjoy sweet custard-filled doughnuts, but also crave a bitter red pill sometimes.
Balance is only utopian when you expect a constant 50-50, failing to realise that it’s the average that has to be balanced and not every one-off act. Most things are probably always gonna be like: 10-90, 20-80, 30-70, or in the best case, 40-60.
Am I making sense?
It’s kinda paradoxical but balance is about being fluid.
It’s liberating to not force yourself to be married to just one or two ways of doings things, modes of expression, worldviews, etc.
The chase of balance, ultimately, is where life happens.
P.S. Like what you read?
I was never able to put up the confidence to write on this topic. So proud of you, nobody could've possibly woven words so beautifully than you.
I know right Arya?? It's like the power of ANDs...I can trust & surrender to the universe but still feel weird and desperate lol...
I can love my parents and still get immensely get irritated by them😂🙈